Friday, January 8, 2010

A Personal Battle

I apologize for being MIA for awhile. The holidays were a whirlwind.

I'm going "public" with my battle. I'm dealing with what my Dr thinks is a combination of depression and anxiety. I've been through three different medications. This last one required me to stop breastfeeding my beautiful 16 month old baby girl which I was upset over. She is our last and the only one I breastfed for so long.

I personally think there may some Adult Attention Deficit in there. I start things and can't finish. My house is a cluttered disorganized mess which is how my brain feels.

My moods can swing almost in a split second.

I cry when it's all too much, which has been more often in the past week or so.

I can't find the good things in life, I almost always see the negative and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I even think that it'd be easier to just NOT be.

But then I look at these 3 beautiful faces.....and I temporarily forget the pain, the unforgiving pain that is draining my happiness.


Anna said...

Glad you're back in blog world, it's a great way to let it all out!
Hope the new meds work and you're back to your old happy self soon!

The Schneiders said...

Hey Shana!
Sorry you are feeling "down". You have much to be thankful for!!! Maybe you could write a list of everything that makes you happy or that you have been blessed can refer to it when life gets ya bummed. Your kid's beauty and health can be #1! They are sooo cute!